PRIDEful Bitch

The World of the Heterosexual-Link to some John Waters goodness….

PRIDE Weekend!!

I have a love/hate relationship with basically ALL events in this city. Bay to Breakers, SantaCon, Folsom Fair, Pride etc. Usually based on my ability to attend and how much I need MUNI that day. Yes, I am a brat like that.

But, this year I’m a little more excited about Pride. Why? All because of something a dear friend told me….

So, like many words, the word “queer” has undergone many mutations and definition-changes. And like many words, (bitch, cunt, fag etc.), it has been used to abuse and dehumanize. I always thought that “Queer” was sort of a generalized term for Homosexual.

Ok, give Whendy a break here guys, I don’t know everything and Political Correctness is often beyond me.

But, I was informed that “Queer” also describes “Heterosexual people that live outside the Heterosexual norm”. Well, that is me to a T. (Let your imaginations run wild, go ahead.) Also, “Queer” can mean “sex-positive” and “Accepting of all orientations”. WOOOOO!

Ok, ok, I know many hate the word “Queer”, and many other words for whatever reason. It has negative connotations or what have you. I get that, I experience the same feelings about other words.

But, know this: There is a hetero lady here that is ECSTATIC to not have to identify herself as “straight”. Because, really, who wants to be straight?

Oops, did I offend a few of you? Well, just as some of you may dislike certain words/terms, I hate having to call myself straight. I feel it identifies me with many things I do NOT want to be linked to: religion, lifestyle, behavior…whatever. But, that’s the amazing thing about words: They have POWER.

And, as humans existing in a seriously effed-up place, we have the incredible responsibility of using that power for GOOD, when others only use it for evil.

So, may I (figuratively) stand up and say,

I’m Whendy. I’M HERE. I’M QUEER. AND I’M SO PROUD TO BE ABLE TO SAY THAT.

Have a fantastic PRIDE weekend, cherubs. Spread the Love, Spread the Joy and Spread the PRIDE

and, just for funsies, click the “World of the Heterosexual” link up top for a little John Waters, because I love this clip and I’m just IN LOVE with that man

XOX,

Whendy

Westward, ho!

Lord Almighty, what a show!

If you stayed inside tonight, all warm and cozy and lame, then you missed one hell of a spectacle! This evening was the opening party for the Edwardian Ball at the DNA Lounge with Hubba Hubba’s Wild West Burlesque! There were knives flying, guns shooting, Tugboat the Buffalo, tassels twirling and corsets, corsets, corsets! All lovingly and rambunctiously rounded up by our own Colonel Kingfish. My kind of night 🙂

I’m just an old carny at heart, so I’m ALWAYS excited to see the Gypsy Cowboys. I dig people that cultivate amazing skills like old sideshow; hell, I just take my clothes off in front of strangers for fun….and while that certainly takes bravery, it’s still different than standing there looking pretty while Molotov hurls knives at your head. Using a bullwhip to snap a balloon out of a lovely ladies’ mouth? Tremendous! Then strapping her to the Wheel of Fortune, spinning her like a top and lobbing blades at her head? Stupendous! You guys can keep your Tivos and Hulus, I’ll be at the Hubba Hubba Revue.

A few notable faces in the audience tonight were the lovely Miss Pearl E. Gates, Pickles Kintarro, folks from KofyTv and  the fantastic Laika Fox. That’s what’s really awesome about the Go-Go boxes: you can see for miles! One of the most dee-lightful surprises tonight was DJ Fact.50! I enjoyed the hell out of all the awesome, obscure and old-timey jams he was playing, and so did all the little Go’s.

I was bouncing all over the lounge tonight, and if you were allowed backstage wouldn’t you do the same? I swear, it’s all nakedness and pillow fights and free beer and bubble baths back there….well, almost. Secret, sexy (and imaginary) playtime aside I will say one of my favorite acts was the scintillating Siamese Twin fan dance performed by Mynx d’Meanor and Comrade Tang. Yes, Sparkly Devil, we all love cute Asian girls…..and yes, they were so cute I wanted to “make a noise like Mariah Carey fucking a dolphin”. And there’s another visual to add to the catalog of weird crap that pops into my head at inopportune moments…

Did anyone else never notice how Lee Presson looks just like Edgar Allen Poe, even on a normal day? So, Lee dressing up as “drunken Edgar Allen Poe with a gun” was pretty much icing on the cake. And, guns don’t kill people, Lee Presson does. Well, not intentionally but that cap gun did go flying once or twice.

And, if you didn’t come out tonight you missed CanCan Bijou! You only get a few chances to see them each year,(Dicken’s Faire, Edwardian Ball etc.) and they are always something to see. Pretty girls high-kicking their skirts up with ruffly knickers is just plain old good clean fun. And something I’ve never seen before are the 2 FELLAS in the group! Bad. Ass. And these chums kick their heels up AND do the splits just like the gals. Equal opportunity, that’s what we like here in San Francisco!

Gracious, what a great start to the Edwardian Ball weekend! But, my dogs are barkin’ and my wagon is draggin’ kiddies, so it’s off to bed for Whendy and time to say her prayers…

….god bless Kingfish and Eddie (wherever he is). And god bless double-sided carpet tape and drink tickets, and god bless Dark Garden and all the little glittery deviants that came out tonight. Amen.

XOX,

Whendy

Ah, flashback 2 years ago to Edwardian Ball 2009…this picture makes me want some Absinthe.

Photo by Green La Fleur

Holy Hell, it’s 2012!

Gadzooks kids! I swear it was just October, where has the time gone?

Anyway, all tomfoolery aside, 2012 has started out with all sorts of surprises. And if those crazy Mayans were right, then we only have about 11 months to make this one count.

I’ve just shaken off all the glitter and settled in after the amazingly rambunctious Taboo Burlesque show with Bombshell Betty and Fromagique! The only thing that was missing was our favorite Dude in a Dress: Patina DeCopper! Our poor Patina was taken ill this afternoon and couldn’t blow his horn. Sad face. And, as Randy says,” MC-ing alone is like having sex alone: you need to get off as soon as possible.” Although we were missing our darling trumpeter and co-MC, I think Randy was wonderful (as always) and didn’t recite ONE poop joke! I must admit, I was surprised.

The best part about having the theme of “Taboo” for a burlesque show is that everyone is free to bust out their most unusual and raunchy numbers. I’m sorry, but if I could start every year with Vadge O’Fonnor dressed as a nun dancing to “How do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” with a vibrator and a picture of Jesus; I would be a happy girl. This was also the most dildo-heavy show I’ve seen as well, count ’em: 3! Well, if the Mayans are right and our days are numbered….and if Heaven and Hell really exist…then I will be sizzling in Hell amidst the greatest and most sparkly company.

Like me, Laura Borealis has been on a bit of a “burlesque hiatus”, and it was tremendous to see her again tonight! Miss Borealis is the performer that always puts me to shame. Just when you think she can’t top herself, that bitch comes out blindfolded and does half her act blind! BAD ASS. And if you’ve never seen her do her Tetris act, you better come to every show until she brings it back. For reals, people.

Also, in the audience were some of my favorite performers/supporters that I haven’t seen for some time: Violet Streak, Alexis Natasha Borelli, Yve Jobs and Cookie Crumbles! It’s always awesome to see familiar faces in the audience, especially if they are folks that know how to heckle the pants off Randy. Also, an incredible matter of interest: our own Alexis Borelli and her podcast “Love and Sex with Lex” has been noticed by the one and only PLAYBOY! They will be doing a pilot for Playboy, and then possibly get syndicated! Find her on Facebook and stay tuned for the Burlesque Episode!

When talking about Taboo and good old fashioned raunch, it’s impossible not to mention the dazzling Red Velvet. This gal doesn’t need any theme to get her naughty jollies on, that’s just how our Velvet rolls. Has anyone ever performed a more classic and graceful fan dance….with a rhinestone strap-on? How about a routine about an old witch who reclaims her beauty by eating the heart of an infant? Nope. Just our Velvet, and she wows us every time.

Thank goodness DANGerous Delilah was there! Her S&M act is always something to see, and I actually had the song stuck in my head all day in anticipation of seeing it. We never tire of watching Delilah peel liquid latex of herself, do we? No poppets, we never do! And where would we be without Bombshell Betty, the cutest and creepiest Grandpa you’ve ever seen? (Yeah, you’re sorry you missed that one.)  And did you check out that peplum? One more time, for Vadge: PEPLUM!!

Well, you have one more chance to see this show! Next Monday night at 10pm at the Uptown in Oakland you can catch some Taboo burlesque, don’t miss it! Gracious cherubs, 2012 is feeling pretty great. New Years Eve was a fantastic speakeasy party with Cherry Chapstick, then the Hubba Hubba Revue on the 2nd and now Taboo Burlesque. My only resolution is to set eyes on all your sparkling faces more often!

See you in a dark corner at the Burly-Q

XOX,

Whendy

P.S.  Thanks to Red Velvet and Eric for the endless kindness, and thanks to Randy for always getting a girl home safe 🙂