Holy Hell, it’s 2012!

Gadzooks kids! I swear it was just October, where has the time gone?

Anyway, all tomfoolery aside, 2012 has started out with all sorts of surprises. And if those crazy Mayans were right, then we only have about 11 months to make this one count.

I’ve just shaken off all the glitter and settled in after the amazingly rambunctious Taboo Burlesque show with Bombshell Betty and Fromagique! The only thing that was missing was our favorite Dude in a Dress: Patina DeCopper! Our poor Patina was taken ill this afternoon and couldn’t blow his horn. Sad face. And, as Randy says,” MC-ing alone is like having sex alone: you need to get off as soon as possible.” Although we were missing our darling trumpeter and co-MC, I think Randy was wonderful (as always) and didn’t recite ONE poop joke! I must admit, I was surprised.

The best part about having the theme of “Taboo” for a burlesque show is that everyone is free to bust out their most unusual and raunchy numbers. I’m sorry, but if I could start every year with Vadge O’Fonnor dressed as a nun dancing to “How do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” with a vibrator and a picture of Jesus; I would be a happy girl. This was also the most dildo-heavy show I’ve seen as well, count ’em: 3! Well, if the Mayans are right and our days are numbered….and if Heaven and Hell really exist…then I will be sizzling in Hell amidst the greatest and most sparkly company.

Like me, Laura Borealis has been on a bit of a “burlesque hiatus”, and it was tremendous to see her again tonight! Miss Borealis is the performer that always puts me to shame. Just when you think she can’t top herself, that bitch comes out blindfolded and does half her act blind! BAD ASS. And if you’ve never seen her do her Tetris act, you better come to every show until she brings it back. For reals, people.

Also, in the audience were some of my favorite performers/supporters that I haven’t seen for some time: Violet Streak, Alexis Natasha Borelli, Yve Jobs and Cookie Crumbles! It’s always awesome to see familiar faces in the audience, especially if they are folks that know how to heckle the pants off Randy. Also, an incredible matter of interest: our own Alexis Borelli and her podcast “Love and Sex with Lex” has been noticed by the one and only PLAYBOY! They will be doing a pilot for Playboy, and then possibly get syndicated! Find her on Facebook and stay tuned for the Burlesque Episode!

When talking about Taboo and good old fashioned raunch, it’s impossible not to mention the dazzling Red Velvet. This gal doesn’t need any theme to get her naughty jollies on, that’s just how our Velvet rolls. Has anyone ever performed a more classic and graceful fan dance….with a rhinestone strap-on? How about a routine about an old witch who reclaims her beauty by eating the heart of an infant? Nope. Just our Velvet, and she wows us every time.

Thank goodness DANGerous Delilah was there! Her S&M act is always something to see, and I actually had the song stuck in my head all day in anticipation of seeing it. We never tire of watching Delilah peel liquid latex of herself, do we? No poppets, we never do! And where would we be without Bombshell Betty, the cutest and creepiest Grandpa you’ve ever seen? (Yeah, you’re sorry you missed that one.)  And did you check out that peplum? One more time, for Vadge: PEPLUM!!

Well, you have one more chance to see this show! Next Monday night at 10pm at the Uptown in Oakland you can catch some Taboo burlesque, don’t miss it! Gracious cherubs, 2012 is feeling pretty great. New Years Eve was a fantastic speakeasy party with Cherry Chapstick, then the Hubba Hubba Revue on the 2nd and now Taboo Burlesque. My only resolution is to set eyes on all your sparkling faces more often!

See you in a dark corner at the Burly-Q



P.S.  Thanks to Red Velvet and Eric for the endless kindness, and thanks to Randy for always getting a girl home safe 🙂