Summer Lovin’….had me a blast.

Well, hello Cherubs!

What can I say? I am apparently terrible at keeping up with my writing! So sorry to keep you all waiting.

Summer, summer, summer. And it’s almost over! We’ve had some great shows though, huh? Bombshell Betty’s Tropical Adventure show was a hoot! The July Haute House show was amazing, Pearl E. Gates’s grape stomping act and Laura Borealis’ Tetris Act changed my life, I swear. And, you’re all just in time for the 2nd installment of our Hollywood show which will be happening tomorrow night at the Uptown, 10pm! To check out some amazing pictures, go to my fella’s Flicker site Rip Van Wolf Photography.

Other highlights? Well, I helped rock the Catalyst in Santa Cruz with Surf City Burlesque! Myself, DANGerous Delilah, Fina Fatale, Vadge O’Fonnor and our delectable Tasty Temptress certainly gave the old SC something to talk about that night. I also attended Randy Johnson’s (the Pastie Guy) first ever Pastie Workshop! I learned some of his awesome trade secrets and had a blast crafting with  the gals. (Betty also taught us some AWESOME tricks for working with rhinestones!) I highly recommend taking the workshop if you want to learn to make professional-looking and sturdy pasties! Check out for future workshops.

I’m spending this Sunday with a bottle of champagne, (and some OJ, for the vitamin C you know), cleaning house physically and mentally. Things are getting all shook up again at the If-N’ household. My dear friend, the incredible Aimee Plant, has just concluded a visit to SF for the first time in 2 years and her absence is once again giving me the blues. But, whether near or far, great friends are always great to have, no?

Also, my roommates are moving out! Goodness, gracious me, as good old Bobby Dylan once said: “The times, they are a changin”. We’re now on the look out for some roomies who are cat lovers and don’t mind glitter being a part of their daily life. Let’s just say, I’m optimistic.

And, speaking of glitter, there are some tremendous things on the horizon. I’m working on a script for a short film Bombshell Betty and I have been talking about FOREVER. It’s working title is “Glitter Addicts”, and it promises to be hilarious! I’ve got some new acts in the works, but they’ll have to be on hold until November….because I’m in a play going up in October! My incredible and rowdy friends, the Primitive Screwheads, are getting ready for ShEvil Dead Live! A reincarnation of our first show, Evil Dead Live, but with an all female cast! Keep your ears open for a bloody fun time 🙂

I’m also pleased as punch to announce that I will be performing at Viva Las Vegas next spring with my pals, Los Shimmy Shakers! And on my birthday, as well. I suppose I can only expect another vicious spanking like last year *wince*.  Either way, I’m terribly excited and hope to see ya’ll there!

Along with all my performance life, I’m trying to figure out what to do with my career. If burlesque could be my end-all be-all money maker (unlikely) I would be on it like white on rice. But, again unlikely. I’m trying to decide if I should be: a) a nurse of some sort, b) an English teacher, c) a Vet. But, if I became an English teacher, would I have to give up burlesque? I’m assuming most parents would be pissed upon finding out that their child’s teacher shakes her stuff during off hours. But, knowing myself, I would be even more over-come as a veterinary doctor, crying more than any pet-owner when their animal is sick. All I know is that theatre can’t pay my bills….and retail makes me want to poison people. So, with this seemingly large continental shift in my life, I’m attempting to “accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative”.  And all that.

I’m watching “Gypsy”, because I find that Rosalind Russell inspires me to kick life in the pants. Ever seen “The Women”? With Norma Shearer, Rosalind Russel and Joan Crawford? Now that’s a great film. Sing it, Rosalind! Tell me all about it! I’ll be swell, I’ll be great! Gonna have the whole world on a plate! And hopefully that plate will also be holding Aurora Borealis Rhinestones and a million dollars. We’ll see, shall we?

I swear to the heavenly spirit of Lili St. Cyr that I will be better with my writing, so as to keep you from such insane up-dates. Amen!




  1. violet streak · August 15, 2011

    I wish you did make lots of money performing. I really think you have “it” I

  2. Lezzie McFaggerson · August 16, 2011

    re: you keeping a blog: i love the way you write!
    re: shevil dead live: i want to see that!
    re: a straight job: girl, you just keep the boobies on the down low and all will be well.

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